STELLA MEGA-POST

Oh boy oh boy, hot diggity dog! We've got Stella comin' at you in full QUATRO! It's like the channel (or Chanel) is stuck on Stellavision! Wow, there is so much to report that I don't even know where to start. Let's go movie by movie...



Above, Momma was too hot so I had to put her out the only way I knew how!



Daddy is a bit of a slouch when it comes to chores and tidiness, so I shot a little demonstration video to help him out for next time.



Of all nights to run out of wombat entrails and grizzly bear ears... here I am on the rampage going door to door looking for ingredients for my potion. Luckily I am in the right town to find such components for my concoction.



In this video we have it all! Stinky foot sniffing, "the blink," forehead pounding... it's practically a best of. I should charge extra for this one!!

That's all for now tots! Until next time- keep strollin' and keep soilin',

XOXO, Baby girl

Wicked Cutest Witch of the East!

Greets and treats, babies!



My keen baby sweet tooth helped me hone in on the best Halloween treat house in all of New England. Unlike other trick or treaters who run from house to house, I have already hit the treat jackpot and will focus the rest of my attention on "trick." Let's see how long it takes Mommy to comb a starburst out of my hair!

Reading with Stella

I have now become so good at speed reading that I barely even have to touch the book, let alone actually open it.

Stellavinci

Greetings my pint-size friends! I have learned many new things lately. For starters, I scale things. Yup, I can scale boxes, cribs, couches, ottomans, even people. I also know how to take off my own diaper. Not just that, but I will happily show the world that I don't need one at all and can just pee right on the floor!



Perhaps my finest skill of all is my abstract drawings. Think Rothko but with some bowed lines. I also charge a lot less for me mine.



Until next time, keep it crib and stay infantile! Stella xoxoxoxoxox

First I limp to the side like my leg was...

Forget the Humpty-Dance! Break out your flattened cardboard box and bust the Stella-Saunter! Don't forget to put the boombox over your shoulder!

Babyland has had little to offer lately. Thanks for asking (no comments)! Mommy and Daddy have been totally lame and did not throw me a 14-month party (that's TODAY, losers). No cake, no presents, no late bedtime... what a crock. It's okay- I am taking my rockstar-nap from 8PM to midnight and then I am going to hit the town. With a fresh diaper and a Mommy-made hairclip on I will never have to pay cover at the Milk Bar. I'm gonna have so much fun, I might wet myself!

-Stella

Appledizzapple, slapplemaklabapple!

Who says we have to wait for another month for a blog update!? Consider this a bonus. In this video, we see my diplomatic skills were called upon to diffuse the hostile fruit situation in New Hampshire. Rouge Mackintosh apples have been spontaneously attacking the Golden Delicious, withering them down to only a few trees in the entire orchard. After a long deliberation with the rest of my UN cohorts, we have decided upon a course of action, Ingest Everything: Code Juice.

I have been up to lots lately! You can see here that I was minding my own business when I was accosted by the tickle monster! The film ran out, but you would have been able to see me smite that evil being. Speaking of monsters, I have finally been spotted in my full ceremonial witchery garb, shape shifting and turning opponents into toads. You'll have to see my Picasa site for full details. As if it was not devastating enough to be caught in front of the cauldron, the paparazzi captured my road rage on the way to my manicure from Starbucks. See below.



On a side note, I need your help. That goes for babies, adults, woodland creatures (including gnomes), and supernatural beings. Dearest mummy has passed along some snaps of your truly to the Baby GAP for some modeling. Words has it that employment hinges on votes from my fanclub so that I CAN WIN AND RULE THE UNIVERSE. More details on that to follow.

I didn't forget about you!

Greetings, babies, infants, and umpa-lumpas. I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about you- I will be uploading a video of my hot new dance moves in the next couple days.

I also have tales/tails of my wizardry, as you can probably imagine from my picture site.

Holla at ya soon,

Stella

The Big O-N-E

Guess what babies! I have graced you with my presence for an entire year! That's one whole year that I have shown everyone how to look really really cute, and one football field full of diapers! That's how they grow astroturf, by the way.

Let's get down to the exciting part: presents! I got a bumble bee that I can ride! I got blocks and clothes and a little play house that looks like a tree and a few other things... everything a little tot could want. I also had something very peculiar for the first time: chocolate. Chocolate cake, to be exact. Every girl's best friend. Oh how I love you, chocolate cake, with your colorful sprinkles and delicious frosting. In fact, so yummy that I shall eat you with my hands, both at once! For those of you not yet acquainted with this glorious confection, please see the above video tutorial on how to best enjoy it. My compliments to Chef Mommy.

Note from the IT Department: This is a replacement video for one that wouldn't upload. They said it was too big! We'll work on that and do another post. Hmph!

Surf's Up!

You can plainly see here that I have had much better things to do with my time than waste away behind the computer. I can only leave my adoring public hanging for so long. The above video marks the last of videos or pictures from my lovely Casio camera. Yea, I really just wanted to get a new one, so I thought I would help speed things along by sending the camera for a quick swim. What do you know, my plan worked. Hopefully before too long you will see some really snappy snaps! I have to have the best, and that takes my staff time to research, so you can understand why there hasn't been a post in a while. Not to mention my IT department has been inundated with a computer virus to end all viruses. Speaking of viruses, the CFO of Stella Inc., aka Daddy, has come down with something nasty and has been totally useless for over a week. Hopefully he can get his act together and take some new pictures and video of me at the beach this week. Yay! Ta-ta

Loooooong Overdue.

Here's a classic from week 46 that I hadn't posted yet. This should tide you over until the next post, where I will explain myself for my lack of posts. Sorry, babies!

Tickle me Stella

After lots of sugar, spice, and everything nice, I seem to have contracted a case of the willies! Fortunately, Mommy was there to help rid me of them.

The sweet soothing sounds of Van Halen

No one told me about the lovely, lovely purrr of the synthesizer from Van Halen. It's time to show my breakdancing moves and go nuts! I think this would be a good inspiration for me to learn to "jump." Where is it that they jump to, per say? Jump into the pool? Jump out of my crib? Jump while on Daddy's shoulders? All good ideas!!! You can't go wrong!

Keep on Truckin'

Oh boy oh boy! Blogger is working again! I have so much to share! We are a bit behind the times, but I will catch everyone up as quick as I can (early bedtimes make it hard to write, you know).

Here we have Moi, the Stel-Belle, struttin' her stuff down the runway. Today we are modeling prison stripes in fall colors (in June). Most babies wait for fall to start the fall fashion- the Stellameister is way ahead of the game and SETS the trend for the fall. In fact, the trees model their leaves after my coolness. As for the "prison" motif, it is a not-so-subtle mockery of my confinement to my barred crib.

-Stella

AAAAARRRGGGGG!

Google is being a big fat cry baby!  I am trying to post videos and it's not letting me!!!!

Privacy Please!

Being the mega-celebrity that I am, it's hard to get the cameras to ever go off. This even applies to the bathroom. So, I figured, why not capitalize on this? I have biter-biscuits and diapers to pay for too you know. So I did this quick short for Charmin. Personally, I prefer the luxury of soiling myself on the go and making someone else clean that up for me. In the meantime, I had best milk this for all it is worth.

Back from my extended trip at the "spa"

After an intervention and a much needed wake up call that "milk is not the answer," I am back from my time of rest and back at the computer to fill all of you in on my tales of infant jet setting, toddler tribulations and conundrums of cuteness. Get ready for this baby to make up for lost time! Here, you will see the fruits of my latest cosmetic enhancement- no, not lipo or botox, but daddy-longleg hormone injection! Check me out as I crawl!! I am like spiderman, but better!!

Gimme my cheesy poofs!

Here's me ravaging my appetizer in preparation for supper.

It's been a while since I have written, I know, but I have good excuses! I have been training with ninjas at the upper reaches of Mt. Kangchenjunga in Nepal, mastering the secret art of crawling. I am well on my way to becoming enlightened and possess pretty nifty crawl tactics. I am also pretty sweet with the nun-chucks.

STELLA!!!

Sesame Street approached me for a cameo... sadly, they could not afford me. We settled on letting them reference me. Working with Grover would have been a treat. Perhaps next time, my dear blue friend.

Don't panic!

Hard times for yours truly lately. As usual, no birthday cheer for the big SEVEN month milestone, back on the 6th. Thanks Mom and Dad, the only ones who remembered. But there were far harder times to come! I managed to get a fever of 104 only mere hours ago. It was just a run of the mill virus, but of course the papers had a field day. "Wild baby enters rehab after all night session at the boob," "Child star battling milk addiction finally caves in to family intervention," "Brief hospital stay does little to deter out-of-control infant," "Furious tot goes on ER rampage after botched catheter attempt." And it goes on and on. Those tricky doctors were trying to provoke me to pee on command. Hmph, I know better- I already have two prior convictions of public urination and four counts of nudity with intent of feces. Nurse Wratchet was a crafty one though, and managed to juice it out of me in the end. That slag. I will get my revenge in the end. Let me leave you on a more positive note with this lovely picture of me during happier times.

Sing it, puppy!

Check out my new pal, courtesy of Uncle Dave and Auntie Amber! Thanks guys- I love him very much!

Mini-post

Forgive me- I have been busy working out getting ready for the Olympics. I plan on taking home all platinum metals (they make those special for me). There will be many events, including: foot twirling (see video), grunting (also see video), inanimate object toss, full body hoisting, distance food spitting, and of course speed diaper filling. The final event will be a triathlon of crying, then fussing, and finally insomnia. Anyway, here's me, hard at work training.

Yeah, baby, I am 1/2 today!

So, I have been on strike for a while from writing since I don't get very many comments on my blog. I have decided to break the picket lines in light of today's holiday. No, not Ash Wednesday, I am speaking of Stella's (moi) half birthday! Frankly, it's not been that great since I am still down in the dumps about Super Tuesday. You guys were supposed to pencil me in... Democrat OR Republican. It's okay though, you can still write in my name as the Queen Bee of the Stella Party. Your votes will help elect me supreme girl ruler of the US of A. When elected, I promise to ban teething, end child labor and slash taxes for all new parents by 95%. That one goes out to you Daddy; I love you, man.

Any-who, there have been other landmark events in the past few weeks. Some of you may not know that I am now wicked good at sitting up by myself. Not only that, but I got over my fear of water! It only took a little cuddle from Mommy in the bath to help me understand the error of my ways. Here is one swim I took in the kitchen sink:



Not only can I swim, but I have also finally decided to grace this lovely planet with not just the written word, but also speech. A quiet mutter of "Momma" was heard first by only the elite, then to follow was "Nana," followed by a filibuster of "DADADADADADA!" Daddy has trouble listening so I have to repeat myself a lot with him. At least that is what Mommy says.

I have also gotten two teeth. Yea, I bite. I won't lie about it- I will grab you and cut you with my little choppers. I will say that I am pretty ticked off about this whole pearly-whites thing. They hurt on the way in! No wonder all the other Hollywood folk opt for the veneers. I know that you have to suffer for fashion, and I plan on keeping these teeth for a while. At least I am not faking it like the rest of you stars.

That's all for now, people.

PS- I forgot one thing... I am 1/4 Polish you know. Yet, I haven't even seen one Paczki?!?! Fat Tuesday, Fat Thursday... whatever you want to call it, just GIVE ME A DAMN PACZKI!!!

Boing! Boing!

Actually, since this was taken, I had to have the settings on this adjusted because I have grown so much. Some of my clothes are for 9 month year olds, and I am only 5 months. Take that, infants! Speaking of that... the usual let-down for my 5 month birthday. However, I was impressed by this mysterious Scandinavian "saint" that drives a reindeer car, chock full of goodies for those of us who made the "nice list." I am sure I am on the VIP list at his uber-chic ice-club, The Workshop, at the North Pole. I'll probably never know because Daddy says that I can't travel by sleigh until I am at least three. Mean ol' Daddy.

waka waka waka!

Yea yea yea, I know, it's been a while. Daddy had this stupid idea of making his own computer... let's just say that it didn't get done, and now I have to do it. I have to do everything around here. In fact, I sent Daddy out to BJ's to get fruit and vegetables and then I made baby food. Ok, fine, to be fair, I let Mommy help. I really like my squash and sweet potatoes. Carrots are good, as are apples and pears. I do not care for green beans though. Yuck!