Hiatus

Sorry guys! Daddy has been hogging the computer non-stop! Finally, I can get a few words in. A lot has gone on lately! Where do I begin... The mean ol' doctor poked my delicious skin with needles again. That was no fun. Oh, I know! Daddy and Mommy got a tree to put in the house! I am really confused though. I thought trees grew outside, and I really don't get this whole bit about a fat guy with a beard. He comes down the chimney? We don't even have a chimney. However, anyone with presents for me is A-Okay in my book!

In other news, I have decided to break my milk only diet and incorporate rice into the mix. I had no idea what I was missing!! Have a look at the video!!



Also, check me out in my Jumperoo! Thanks cousin Katia for letting me use your fun toy!!




Ta-ta!

Love, Baby Stella

Elfishness!

I got a new job! I am working part-time for SANTA! I guess there are no child-labor laws on the north pole... or if there are, please keep this one quiet! But really, aren't I always working, being this absurdly cute?

http://www.elfyourself.com/

*Thanks Ciocia Kris!*

I am woman! Hear me roar!

I have learned new tricks! I can now turn the pages of my books that Mommy reads to me! Yes, I am serious. Also, as promised, here is video of my new ability to talk! Is it too early to compete on American Idol?

I am woman! Hear me roar!

Thanks for nothing, I didn't even get a card!

I turn three months old and no one cares?! How dare you! I will Fed-Ex poopy diapers to everyone!

I had many interesting events take place in the last week:

- I turned three months on 11-6-07. Should have been a national holiday, if you ask me.
- In my playmat, I have leaned how to really wind up and clock my hanging elephant.
- My sleep-positioner is now no match for my wiggling skills.
- I can now roll over on command. Look out Fido!
- I have developed quite a taste for television, especially "Project Runway." Thanks, MOM.

Phew! I am worn out! See you in the funny pages, HEEE-HAWW!

-Her Majesty Stelly Von Uber-Cute

100,000 flock to Salem to see yours truely

All other celebs and babies bow to my coolness! I had the bash to end all bashes: 100,000 people came to Salem to try to be cute by association on October 31st... My party was SO exclusive that I only opened the door to ONE trick-or-treater! If I had a store, it would be like one of those uber-chic ones in Tokyo that sells only one or two items... but in MY store there would just be me, with a price tag that says, "You can't afford me, baby!"

In other Stella news: I have discovered my vocal cords and really like using them. I especially like to bark out commands in gibberish at 3:00AM. It's quite entertaining to make Mommy run to my crib during the wee hours, just to cuddle me. Yeah, that's what I said, CRIB. I ditched that basinette days ago (very last month). I don't know how I feel about the bars on the sides though. Daddy says it's fitting, since I am so cute that it should be against the law.

-Stelly

The loose monkey has been captured...

Personally, I don't see the resemblance............

Finally... a party in my honor!

After all the almosts and would-bes, I finally got a party! Yes, a real party, just for me!!! Not only that, but it was in a big building with stained glass and there was another baby named Jesus! I even got a special bath during the ceremony (yes, a ceremony for ME!)... it was a good day, to say the least. Finally, I got the recognition I deserve!

Monkey on the loose!!

A very suspicious coincidence...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13685569/

Go on then, say it!

My staff tells me that there has been difficulty commenting on my posts. Well, I have fired my webmaster and commenting is now allowed! Keep it "G" please (no, not like Ali G).

Signing off, the "Notorious Milky Breath" Stella.

Queen Bee

The votes are in and it is unanimous that I, Stella Elizabeth, am the Queen Bee of all babies. As if I needed a poll to tell me that! I am, however, perplexed as to how there was only 10 votes... perhaps the counter started over again once it reached 999,999,999.

Anywaaaah, enough pondering for the moment. I am much more concerned with venting about my poopy day. It started off good enough: Daddy was there when I woke up- a big surprise for a weekday. Mommy was extra cuddly and was mumbling about how it was because "we love you." Hmmmm... past lessons have lead me to conclude that Daddy isn't taking the day off for a surprise 2-month birthday party. No, something is rotten in the Commonwealth of Mass. After a brief car ride, the next thing I knew, I was down to a diaper and on a scale! I will add that I am now a full TWO FEET LONG and the better part of 13lbs. That's a pound short of a stone, for my English fans! Anywaaaah, within moments, my A+ baby skin was poked and punctured and hastily mended with bugs bunny band aids! WWWWAAAAAAAAA! I didn't authorize this! The good news is that it didn't really hurt that bad after all- I am just trying to milk this for all it's worth. I sure have Mommy eating out of my hand. Little does she know that I wear the diaper in this house (see the picture).

Party at my crib

Hey babies! Peep the preview from the next "Cribs!"

Back from my whirlwind tour

Sorry babes! I haven't forgotten about yous! I have been touring New England promoting my new album: Tears, Squeaks and Hiccups. My tour has included Plaistow NH, Danvers MA, Peabody MA, and Bradford MA to name a few. I am planning a special performance at Target that may include soiling the carriage! However, it will be hard to top my show on the highway returning from Nanni's just the other day: I cried so loud that Mommy had to pull over in Reading to feed me! I have Mommy and Daddy eating out of my little hand...

More blogging to follow- sorry to let the team down folks! Team Stella, that is. Hmph!

-Stelly Belly

PS- Wait until you see how cute I am in my Halloween costume! Here is a warm up, but nothing compared to what I have in store!

Just workin' on the blog...

Greetings and salutations, fellow babies, adults and stuffed animals. Today has been pretty slow so far: some sleeping on Daddy in the Bjorn, soiling has been kept to a minimum, and maybe I will go for a stroll later. And of course, a bit of blogging, as you can see. I am told that Mommy and Daddy's anniversary is coming up... which may result in an outing or dinner or something. Well, I will put a stop to that! Failure to recognize my weekly birthdays has made me bitter. I will probably rest all day, as I will need my strength for the incredible display of tears and poop just before we are about to depart. MMMwwwaaaa HA HA!!

I can't be stopped

I can't believe these babies are my competition- seriously- they are no competition. In all honesty, shades are something of a necessity now with all the flash cameras constantly going off in my direction. Soak in your fashion lesson ladies- this one is on the house.

The Stella Diet (you wish you could)

Still trying to find a publisher for my diet book, "Pinch my cheeks (All four): A Guide to Luscious Cheeks," by Stella E. We talk a lot about my six-times-a-day double-clotted cream diet, fresh from Mommy. It's important that it is exactly 97 degrees, and preferably right from the tap. Only with this exclusive Salem/Hollywood diet can you acquire these beautiful pinchable cheeks. Many have failed to achieve my level of beauty in the past by: dipping scones into the mother's milk, creating whip cream, used in a variety of delicacies.... even a dose in the morning coffee... All of these methods are cheating, and best results are achieved by--- wait a sec... you better buy the book!! Keep an eye peeled for the Crayon edition for only $39.99!

-Baby Stella

Yet another lawsuit...

Luckily my lawyers have suppressed the "questionable photos" from this site.

http://www.babyrazzi.com/

I'm bigger than you

I grew! I am 11lb 3oz and 21.75" long now! Beat that!

Bad behaviour

Mommy and Daddy are a bit concerned with some of the behaviour they say I am exhibiting. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with:

1) Drinking until I throw up
2) Barfing in my hair
3) Crapping in my sleep
4) Being up between 3-5AM
5) Crying when I don't get my way

All the magazines say that I am "out of control" and have too much of a night life. Personally, I don't see what the problem is; I love to drink (milk) and I have to have my beauty sleep. Anyone who is anyone doesn't go to sleep before 5:00AM anyway, so what is the big deal?

And for all you posers out there, peep the preview of the latest fall fashion: bear ears are way in. They are so in, they are 2009. See you on the cover of Vogue, cry-babies!

-SteLL

Snubbed again

As I am sure you are already aware, I turn four weeks old today. Every Sunday I search the entire apartment for presents to commemorate my birthday coming the following day. Surely mom and dad were to acknowledge the historic even of me turning two and three weeks old, but to no avail. In protest, I crapped so bad in my sleep-sack that mom had to throw it away.

I am told that today is Labor Day. I know that daddy took the day off... that must be to throw me my surprise party. I'll pretend not to know.

-Stella xoxoxoxoxoxo

The wild blue yonder

I went to Babies'R'Us and CVS today... paparazzi everywhere. Typical. Then I came home and barfed. Good times.

Mommy and Daddy are knackered after my 3AM-5AM wakey wakey time. I would be in trouble, but I am too cute.

-Stella

No shots for me!

The doctor decided not to poke me with the needle after all! And, I am back up to my birth weight! Doc said that could have easily taken another full week!

I lost my belly button yesterday!

Daddy opened up my Winnie the Pooh sleepsack, and what did he find? The rest of my umbilical cord. It looks like I am going to be an "outie." Too soon to tell for sure.

I have to go to the doctor today so they can poke me with a shot. WAAAA!

Who says I can't have a blog when I am only six days old!

Email is soooo 2005. Check out my blog people. I have a nap to get back to.